Forgive Yourself

I promise you, it’s going to be okay. The world will go on, and so will you. Don’t let a minor inconvenience manifest into a life-changing altercation. It’s all in your head, but you know that. I can remind you a million times that all these thoughts are all in your head, duh, obviously they’re all in your head. What I’m trying to say is that your brain is over-analyzing the issue into a life-or-death situation. It’s not that serious, stay level-headed and push through. No one is perfect, you’re going to mess up. You’re going to get knocked down a couple pegs but don’t you dare stay down there in your own self-pity. Forgive yourself and remember that these moments are only to remind us that we are all human. Get back up and climb back up where you belong.


Forgive yourself, because you didn’t ask to suffer. There is no set answer to why you have to suffer, but it will all make sense one day. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, everything. Whether you are going through the loss or a loved one, you dropped your phone in the toilet and everything in between. You are allowed to grieve as long as you need to but don’t blame yourself, and don’t grieve the loss of your phone. Life happens, don’t dwell on the past or the future, just take it one day at a time. Even on the days that you think couldn’t get worse, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and the pain will pass. There is no time limit on life, so just keep pushing to the beat of your own drum.


“You are a work in progress, get that through your head. Today may not be your day but tomorrow could be. Life isn’t all or nothing, life is step by step, even if that means a few steps back before you move forward. Notice the little improvements, not all the temporary inconveniences and setbacks”


There is a special power in forgiveness, it releases a burden off your shoulders and a sigh of relief. We are always trying to offer forgiveness to those around us, but for some reason, we can’t seem to forgive ourselves. For whatever reason, you can’t find it within you to forgive yourself, show yourself a little grace and wash it all away.


Acknowledge the situation out loud and take the time to evaluate the actual severity of the situation. Have a conversation with your inner self-critic, you’re not crazy for talking to yourself. Pay close attention to your habits of when you are being critical of yourself. You may shut down socially or emotionally, maybe you start displaying nervous habits. Everyone is different, but being able to identify a specific habit will help you easily identify when your brain is trying to take over your body. When you can identify this, you’ll be able to take control before your brain takes over. 


Give yourself permission to fail, just don’t encourage it. Accept that failure is a part of life and take it as a learning opportunity. If you make a mistake and are having a hard time getting it out of your mind, give yourself permission to put the issue on hold. Visualize yourself putting the issue in a jar of inconveniences and putting it in the cabinet where you don’t have to think about it. Keeping it contained from expanding but also out of sight and out of mind. Don’t avoid coming back to the issue, embrace it once you have taken some time to evaluate the situation.


Take your own advice and stop replaying your mistake in your mind. It’s easier to give others advice to just move on but you often catch yourself in a never-ending cycle of overthinking and over-analyzing. I’m guilty, I’ve written all this advice and all these articles but I don’t always listen to myself. I’ve gotten a lot better at letting things go but I’ll always be an overthinker, I am a Virgo. 


Forgiveness is essential to the healing process. Once you accept that failure is inevitable, identify what you are feeling and let it out. Hopefully, you will begin to feel how freeing forgiveness is. 


Hang in there 


x Hailey Nicole


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